Why do we think we have to pretend to be someone we are not around other people? What gives us the right to deny who God created us to be? Since the E-Women conference in October, I’ve really been dealing with who I really am. So, I thought I’d get a little off my chest, and share some of my revelations with anyone in “Blog Land” who may take the time to actually read what I have to say.
I don’t understand our society! We elevate to idol status some of the WORST creatures on the face of this imperfect world. Why do we turn to media icons (actors, actresses, musicians, politicians, etc) for role models for ourselves and our children? We don’t really know anything about who they really are! Look what we’ve done to them by placing all this unnecessary pressure on their lives as well…they are a bunch of “nutters” for a lack of a better term. We simply must start looking for role models in a better place, but where? This world is not at all perfect, nor is anyone “in” it.
“Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. “ Romans 12:2 (The Message)
If we all…and I know this seems so impossible to our finite minds…simply did what the word of God said, and didn’t think so much about what other people “might” say, life would be so much better. I’m so tired of being a part of ”the masquerade”!!! My discipleship training class is going through Dr. Julianna Slattery’s book “Beyond the Masquerade” and oh my is it ever going to be life-changing if we will “choose” to live it. Basically first, we have to learn to be true to ourselves and who God made us to be…not who we think we should be in different situations!
“Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.” Ps 51:6
Can we really be true to ourselves? Do we even know who we really are, or have we worn the masks of this world for so long that we’ve lost that person, possibly never to be found again?
I’m determined to find myself. I want to be the perfect creature God created me to be!! I’m learning so much everyday. I was not created to be a music teacher for instance. I now know this, after 6 greuling years of unhappiness in the education profession. (I’m rather thick-headed sometimes.) I do however know that I love being a mom! Playing with my children everyday and caring for them myself has made me so much happier…even in my current living arrangements.
I also know that my voice is God’s gift to me. He desires for me to use it for Him and Him alone. All the seeking I’ve been doing for using this gift has been my own. I’ve kinda left Him out of it. Well, not anymore. He’ll use it, and has been using it all along! He blesses me with perfect songs for ministry…on the chosen occasions He opens up ministry opportunities for me…His words…not mine…will be performed!
Oh I am so excited to find out more about the me God created! I also challenge you to look at yourselves and seek who you really are. Behind all the masks we wear around others. I have a horrid mask of shyness! It is going to be hard to overcome…those of you who know me well, know this about me. I’m so afraid of rejection, I’d rather hide in the shadows in groups of people. For years and years I thought everyone around…because they weren’t talking to me…were talking about me…even my friends. This is a lie from the pits of Hell itself, and it is going to be a very hard one for me to overcome, but now that I know what it is…God will help me overcome it!!!!
Join me in this quest. You are all dear friends, and I want everyone to feel the FREEDOM I feel right now…and I’m not completely free yet! God isn’t through by any means!
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Update: It’s been a little over a year since I wrote this, and boy how things have changed. I’ve made great strides in my shyness, a time of prayer before a situation where I would normally be terrified, and I will do just fine and talk to people with minimal fears…still working on the “looking people in the eye” part, but God is getting me there.
Totally surrendering to HIS will, we are now at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary and loving every minute. Despite the stretched schedules, we know we are where we are supposed to be. Also, following God has led us to Lakeside Baptist, where I am now the Minister of Music. (Something I never thought I would have the capacity to do) Having only led 2 sevices thus far, I feel like I’m exactly where God made me to be!!
The masks are slowly but surely being ripped away from my life, and I LOVE it! The freedom and peace that follows is more than I could have imagined!!! What was I so afraid of? Don’t be afraid! Trust HIM! He’ll see you through anything!!
